Here’s a cute music video portraying her perspective:

My uncle always bought me bookstore gift cards.  He knew I didn’t like to read.  I think that was his point.  I suck at reading.  I find myself pausing while turning a page, realizing I do not remember what I had read moments ago.  I come across a word, which triggers a tangent thought, and I go off thinking about that while the other half of my mind continues advances through the words.  Actually, I guess it’s not that I suck at reading; I suck at comprehension and retention. You cannot multitask why reading.  That’s why I like movies.  I can listen to the dialogue, but I can also simultaneously analyze the on-screen action or cinematic technique without losing too much context.

My 12th birthday came and so did another bookstore gift card.  My mother dragged me to the store, reminding me, “You must only shop in the book section.  If I catch you in the music department, you’re grounded.  You have 10 minutes.”  I hated that.  She knew very well that in order to shop I needed to at least casually survey the music department.  You see, I can’t dive straight into shopping like most people.  All good athletes warm up first.  And to me, shopping is a sport – not one I particularly enjoy, but a sport nonetheless.  That process cannot be limited to a mere 10 minutes.

My shopping excursion began in teen, wandered through history, skimmed through sci-fi, and sprinted through self-help.  Nothing jumped out at me, and my 10 minutes were up.  I did the dreaded.  I walked back empty-handed towards my mother in the checkout line.  And much to my surprise, she didn’t yell at me.

My mother seemingly grabbed a book at random and said, “Here.  Why don’t you try this one?”  My jaw hit the floor.  This book had a white cover.  A white cover.  I was never allowed to have white things.  They didn’t stay that way for long.  Did this mean my mother finally trusted me with nice things?  I bought it before she could come to her senses – before she would wake up from her psychosis and realize what she had done.

I cherished this book.  It sat on my bookshelf for months out of fear.  Fear of smudging the cover.  Fear of dog-earing a page.  Fear of destroying the binding.  It’s funny because now I like it for the very reasons I feared.  I love the distressed, gray cover; it shows character.  I love the dog-eared pages; they mark my favorite passages.  I love the way I wrote my name on the inside cover; it shows my 6th grade personality.  But most of all, I love fanning the pages.  I can hold it a good 6 inches from my nose and still smell its old aroma.

Sure, I love this book because it’s a great story, but a story isn’t everything.  Sometimes it’s okay to judge a book by its cover.

1. It was red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and grey and purple and white and pink and orange and blue. – Ensemble
2. The dreams of our dear brother are the decade’s biggest yawn. His talk of stars and golden sheaves are just a load of corn. – Brothers
3. Could you use a slave, ya hairy bunch of ishmaelites? Young, strong, well-behaved. Going cheap, and he reads and writes. – Brothers
4. And I don’t speak Egyptian very well. – Joseph
5. Please stop. I don’t believe in free love. – Joseph
6. Don’t give up Joseph until you drop. We’ve read the book, and you come out on top. Don’t give up Joseph. Wait and you’ll see. We’ve been outside, and you’re on the marquee. – Prisoners
7. You’ll butle as you did before. – Joseph
8. Get down on your knees. – Narrator
9. Well, stone the crows. – Pharoah
10. We were in a jam that would have baffled Abraham. – Pharoah
11. This could be the happy ending, perfect place to stop the show. – Narrator
12. And if we have the time we could see the Sphinx. – Brothers
13. I shall now take them all for a ride.  After all, they have tried fratricide. – Joseph

In light of this realization, I’m taking a temporary break.  Most people would type something passive-aggressive now like, “Thanks for your patience.”  I think that is total bullshit.

I can’t get the embed code to work, and I’m too lazy to deal with it:

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/252639/october-13-2009/the-word—symbol-minded

He does an excellent job explaining how abortion is at the core, not the fringe, of human rights.

There is no “social justice” if the youngest and weakest among us can be legally killed.  Good programs for the poor are vital, but they can never excuse this fundamental violation of human rights.

The common good is never served by tolerance for killing the weak – beginning with the unborn.

While he has spoken numerous times on the aforementioned, this is the first time I’ve read his doubt critique:

But doubt is the absence of something; it is not a positive value.  Insofar as it inoculates believers from acting on the demands of faith, doubt is a fatal weakness. The habit of doubt fits much too comfortably with a kind of “baptized unbelief;” a Christianity that is little more than a vague tribal loyalty and a convenient spiritual vocabulary.  Too often in recent American experience, pluralism and doubt have become alibis for Catholic moral and political lethargy.

I’m guilty of this sin.  I say, “I must pray for wisdom about [insert issue here] before acting.”  In reality, I’m using my doubt as an excuse for inaction.  It allows me to avoid saying no/declining opportunities to serve people towards Jesus while still preserving the appearance of action.  It shifts the blame from me to God.  “I’d love to do something; it’s God who’s dragging His feet.”  Well, God isn’t fooled by this trickery.  Sorry God.

Miss Saigon is worse than a tragedy; it’s downright depressing.  So while I scraped the bottom of the barrel for humorous lyrics, there are several goosebump-causing moments.

Humorous:

1. Shut up, and get your hot pants on. - The Engineer
2. Girls can buy tits by the pair:  the American Dream. Bald people think they can grow hair:  the American Dream. – The Engineer
3. Screw the Engineer! – Chris
4. American clerks:  a system that works.  There’s really no other. – The Engineer
5. Tonight I’m out of my mind, not to mention ten bucks.  – Americans
6. God, the tension is high, not to mention the smell. -  Americans

Goosebumps:

1. You don’t know how to kill. – Thuy
2. Oh, Chris.  I still believe the heart of you is here with me.  My heart, against all odds, holds still. - Kim
3. The story of my life began again with you. – Chris

1. Watchmen
2. Zombieland
3. Contact
4. Trainspotting
5. Napoleon Dynomite
6. Kill Bill:  Vol. 2
7. Juno

Zombieland joins the list at #2.  It has everything Watchmen does (i.e., slowmo, amazing music track, groundbreaking character generation) plus humor.  The only reason it’s not #1 is because Watchmen is more sophisticated emotionally.

I wonder if it’s correlation or causation that both directors have zombie movies under their belts.  Either way, I’m prepared for the zombie apocalypse.